Putting Off the Spirit of Heaviness

Monday morning.  A week of sickness has left me anxious and exhausted, and now there are many more things left undone than the usual Monday morning long list.  One of the hardest things about losing a spouse is the double responsibility.  Earning the living and caring for family and planning the future and cooking and cleaning and caring for sick children and fixing things!  These were the pressures of life for two, and now they are the pressure cooker all on the shoulders of one.

And I woke up on Monday morning with a spirit of heaviness.  It was hard to get up and focus.  I made to-do lists and complained to God.  The window fell down in my car again as I drove to work.  Bitter cold, stuffy head, feeling alone in the gray winter of Yucky Kentucky.  “It’s January,” I tell myself.  “Just a few more weeks and the dreariness will break.”  But it doesn’t help the spirit of heaviness on a Monday morning.

I have three heroes who help me get through winter every year.  They are David, Isaiah, and Jeremiah.  Surely if they looked down from heaven at me, they would gasp at my self-pity.  What’s her problem!!!  David ran for his life and lived in caves and suffered terrible calamity in war and family sorrows and death.  And the words he left me could not be more confident that God’s providence overrules the immediate pressures of life, leaving us always overcomers.  I found myself quoting his most familiar Psalm as I drove the winding road to Oldham County.

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…I have everything I need, Lord, how could I want more?  Green pastures…still waters…  He restores my soul.  David knew how to be still and know that He is God on a Monday morning.  The words of Psalm 23 seemed brand new  as they swept back the dreary sky, the drooping hands, and the feeble knees.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life…Thank you God.  How true that has been in my life.  You have kept us in your care, safe from the cold winters of despair.  You have opened my dull ears to hear the words whose promise has been true every day of my life.  I live in His goodness and mercy.

The sun was rising as I turned into the long driveway that leads to my office.  The sky seemed like a personal painting—a masterpiece sent to me  from the Almighty.  Today is His!  And Isaiah’s words added the amen, You have given me “the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness”  (Isaiah 61:3).  How He loves me!

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About thegriefexperience

I have recently published a book for grieving people called Comfort and Joy available at my website, thegriefexperience.com. I received my Doctor of Education degree from the University of Louisville, and also hold a Master of Science degree and a Physician Assistant degree. I lived as a short term missionary in Swaziland, South Africa, prior to my life as a grief coach and author. My story is about the fact that I am an expert in grief, learning through the goodness of God to navigate a life of sudden turns and repeated trauma that brought grief and loss. I have learned about grief as an unwilling student in a life shaken by sudden death, suicide, and devastating illness. I have been widowed three times, and have raised five children in the midst of earthquake life changes. I have counseled, written and taught classes on The Grief Experience because it is what I have learned well. No amount of education or theory prepares you for multiple experiences of death and loss. But I have found healing in Jesus Christ who is the only One who has conquered death. What He has done for me, He will do for you. Visit my blog at TheGriefExperience.Wordpress.com.
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3 Responses to Putting Off the Spirit of Heaviness

  1. dottielr says:

    O Linda…you always leave me with encouragement especially after confessing your human-ness. Thank you for your transparancy!

  2. Broken in his hand says:

    Oh that touched a nerve. Been feeling heaviness so much so that my eyelids feel heavy. It just crept up on me. – i am a professional singer but don t feel like singing. ! By the rivers of babylon we wept and hung our harps when we remembered zion. Heaviness for me is like being held captive. Thx much. Just in this i feel i need to go read that psalms. Pls keep writing. I will bmark u.

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